Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Clarksburg MD, community, friendship, fun, ranting, Single's ministry, X-treme block party, youth
I’ve been church-hunting for a few months now. Although I really feel like God has moved me out of my old church–it’s still tough to find a church that just fits. No church is perfect and if I do find one, I’ll be sure to leave because i’ll mess it up–but I am looking for a peace that God will bring when I’ve found the right home. I visited a church in Clarksburg, MD (It was referred to me by a friend of mine) last week and I really liked it. The pastor said something that spoke to me right in the Season I’m in. It really felt like a Word from God and I was so encouraged, because I’ve been kind of discouraged lately. Today, they had their annual outdoor community get together and I saw quite a few people that I knew. I talked with a nice Single lady that is trying to get a Singles ministry off the ground and the youth Pastor’s wife. Everyone was very warm and friendly and really tried to introduce me around. I remember years ago when I was the newbie at my old mega-church. It could kind of feel odd to be a member of such a large church, but still really not feel “a part of” it. I don’t know if it was because I’m a Single lady or because I wasn’t as aggressive in plugging myself in. One thing I do know, I am looking for a church that won’t compartmentalize or stereotype me because I’m not married. My singleness in 1/100Th of who I am as a Christian lady and some church’s/Pastor’s try to make you fit into their “box” of what they think Single people want. Very irritating and annoying. It only means they don’t know how to minister to me as an individual and they make up for it by putting me in the same Singles box as everyone else. Ok, enough ranting. I am looking forward to visiting this church a few more times and hoping God give me a sense of my future, if I have one, there.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Christian, clothing line, myspace, Raensem, t-shirts, teens, witnessing
I’ve got this fantastic friend I used to serve with. She and her family are starting a Christian clothing line for teens titled “Raensem” What’s different about this line is that they are not overtly Christian (i.e. no shirts with crosses, churches, scripture verses, etc) looking. The shirt is basically a scripture verse, but in a story format. They’re eye-catching and conversation starting–the perfect witnessing tool for young Christians. Check them out here
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: blessing, healing, hope, mental illness, prayer, soverign, supplication
Well, my roommate came and picked up her stuff today. I’ve come to recognize that her hyper-spirituality is a form of her illness. Her comments to anything is, “Praise God”; “God is so good”; “I’m so blessed”, etc. She’s just not getting it–and I guess it’s not going to be me to help her “get it’ unfortunately. But, I am sad that her decision to not take her medication is going to possibly set her back months if not years. I’ve kind of been in her position. I don’t suffer from mental health issues, but I’ve been in the place where a negative life/behavior pattern cost me dearly. God will do whatever and remove whoever from your life that is taking the focus off of Him. I had to learn the hard way, and since she’s not listening to anyone, I guess she will, too.
I’ve got a heavy heart about this.
Filed under: Uncategorized
Well, I do have an update to my roommate situation and I’m not necessarily sure if it’s a good one. After everything that happened on Wednesday night, I get a couple calls from her Friday and today telling me that she’s been released from the facility we placed her in. What?! Oh my goodness, If I didn’t know already, this would be a prime example of our broken mental health care system. Just because someone is lucid and seems to be functioning “ok”, they get released because it’s one less person to deal with. Criminal. I hope our next President (GO, McCain/Palin) will seriously overhaul this system. So, she calls me telling me that she’s been released, deemed “well” and wants to come pick up her stuff–she asked her new roommate to pick her up. Unfortunately, she hasn’t been completly truthful with her friend either. She just told her she was in the “hospital” not what kind of hospital and she also didn’t mention to her that she’s supposed to be taking anti-psychotics and has been off of them for almost 1 1/2 weeks. I was just to stressed over the situation and put her off until this weekend. Today she tells me that she’s decided to not take her meds anymore. It’s not the money issue (I asked and offered) she just has decided that prayer is what she needs. There was a time when, after hearing that from her, I would’ve reacted very strongly towards that statement and maybe snapped at her a little…ok, more than a little. Yes, she needs prayer, BUT she also needs her medication and maybe, just maybe, God is using that medication to restore her mind/personality to where HE wants it to be. But I didn’t say that over the phone. My heart was just so heavy to hear her say that and I think she’s going to have a long, painful road ahead of her. No family, no friends, her old church only supports her financially but is afraid of her mental illness so they shun her; no one to count on and no one to hold her accountable. But, I also know that even though she isn’t hearing God right now how she really needs to, He is bringing people into her life that can come along side and support. I can’t rescue her, I can’t help her how she needs, but I can be in her life to an extent and I’m determined to do that.
Filed under: Uncategorized
I firmly belive God puts people in our lives for a reason and a Season. I’m more convinced now than ever that there are really no coincidences in life, just a series divine appointments–and they can be a blessing for you or for the other person, not necessarily simultaneously. Maybe the jury is still out in where I fit in this case. This is the same lady I blogged about yesterday.
I met this lady about a year ago in a small group at my old church. The group only met for about 6 weeks, so I didn’t know her well, but she seemed to gravitate towards me throughout the study. I even drove her home a few times as she was without a car, loved the Lord and our class was bringing her such clarity. About a month ago, she emails me because she’s looking for a place to stay, her roommates found another place to live, etc. Of course! I’m all about helping someone out on a temporary basis, I’ve always appreciated it when someone’s done it for me. Then about a week after that, she tells me plans have changed and that she’s moving in with a friend that has an extra room. I figure this is a good thing, its closer to the Metro where she needs to be and she knows her friend better than she knows me. Fine. Cut to about 2 weeks ago, the friend that she was going to stay with is instead moving in an elderly relative….so can she stay with me after all. Hey, still not a problem. I think its strange that she seems to be back and forth, looking for the next best thing when appearances tell me she’s desperate–but, hey, she’s still a Sister in the Lord and needs a leg up. She moves in on Saturday night, and right away there’s a problem. She knows I switched churches and keeps asking me to drop her off for service at my old church (nada); she wants to pray with me every day for at least 15 minutes regardless of my schedule (impossible); and when she does need to pray, she waits for me outside my closed door shaking with anxiety. Now, I’m worried. Last night was the topper, she showed up at her friend’s place, thinking she still lived there. The next door neighbor called the homeowner who, in turn, called me because of my number on this lady’s cell phone. She shed a whole lot of light on this situation and has been dealing with this person’s mental illness for months now. Turns out, she’s been on anti-psychotics and has been institutionalized. She was released 2 weeks ago and has been off of her meds for a week. She’s estranged from her family due to her illness. Her adopted mother changed addresses and phone numbers without telling her. She has no brother’s or sister’s and her birth mom lives over seas. So, what do we do? My heart is just breaking, but I also know she’s unstable and cannot come home with me. After talking with her ex-friend (and hubby) we decided to check her into a psychiatric ward. The whole drive there she was just praising God, telling us what a blessing we were to her and just babbling. It was so sad. All I could think of was the scripture in Matthew 25:40 “‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.” So, what do I do? I know once she goes back on her meds, she’s relatively “ok” and functional. BUT, I also know that, for whatever reason, she doesn’t always take her meds. She’s not dangerous, but I do not trust her in my home alone. If she has no place to go after her week long stay, she’ll get placed in a crisis shelter and go into the homeless system–no place for a single lady with no defenses. I’m just praying for wisdom, strength and discernment here. Her church is also involved in some way, but for the long-term it’s just heartbreaking what she’s going to have to go through. If anyone needs a miracle right now, its this poor lady and I absolutely don’t know what to do for her. Please pray for this Sister.
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The Lord really does work in mysterious ways. After racking up some impressive doctor bills for the surgery and tests I’ve had this Summer. I was really praying about God opening a door for me to make some extra moolah. Well he did in His perfect timing. The kicker ws that it was only for 3 days. LOL.
I know a girl that goes to my old church; she had fallen on some hard times and needed a place to stay. Well, I’ve had some DOOZIES for roommates and thought it would be best to try it temporarily. 3 months tops. Ok. So she’s struggling and can only afford to pay xyz a month. Not a problem, I’m a Christian sister and don’t mind doing this temporarily. The problem? She had some different expectations–all Godly that wasn’t the problem, just “different.” So she decided to stay with one of her friends and is moving in a couple of weeks. So even though this experience was strange to say the least, I did find one thing: I actually like living with someone. If it were just the RIGHT person and the RIGHT time with the RIGHT expectations. That would be even better. I’m praying for that.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: antibiotics, Gaithersburg, Germantown, healing, lyme, lyme disease, Maryland
In retrospect, my symptoms seem to have started last year: muscle aches & twitches, eye-floaters, weird pains, strange headaches (like the very back of your head is in a vice) and facial tingling. Also, the giveway symptom, (to those of you who know me will probably laugh), but I had a serious case of “brain fog.” Man, I was totally out of it somedays! Dizzy, disoriented and just felt wacky. I had a surgical procedure in June 08 and after that…man it was ON! I just started feeling really crappy and went to doctor after doctor. One neurologist actually told me I had MS because I had an abnormal brain MRI. But, after so much back and forth and frustration. I finally met a “lyme literate” doctor here in MD; the culprit turned out to be this little bugger. I think my doctor has the potential to be one of those doom and gloom types. He thinks Lyme is going to be the next great epidemic. But, I was surprised that he told me that Gaithersburg/Germantown is endemic for Lyme’s…even more so than upstate NY where I’m from. Its the population of deer in the area and their proximity to human settlements. What threw me off was that I did NOT have the bulls-eye rash that you read so much about. Aside from the facial tingling and brain kookiness, my symptoms were very mild–not debilitating at all.
So for those of you reading this in the Gaithersburg/Germantown area know I’m taking 3 different antibiiotics 2x a day just to kill those little creeps. Here are some tips to help when you’re out and about to help protect yourself from tick bite cooties. Good luck.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: beautiful, Captivating, Eve, John and Stasi Eldredge, romance, self-worth, Wild at Heart
I’m reading this book for my ladies small group titled “Captivating: unveiling the mystery of a woman’s soul.” Its co-authored by John “Wild at Heart” Eldredge. I heard a few of my male friends tell me what a blessing “WAH” was for them and how reading the book made them realize how differently men and women were created, that difference is right and Godly, and how empowered they felt to be the strong, mature, take-charge Christian men they were created to be. So remembering all of that, I was very eager to read the companion book by Stasi.
The first chapter or so she hooked me. Christian women really need help learning “how” to be Godly women, uniquely feminine and set apart. I do know a few strong Christian women that are career-oriented and proud that they can be successful in the mostly male corporate world. But, that example is not really helpful for me because I have no desire to succeed there. I want to know what being a Christian lady means for me in my life and connecting with that at the root level. In Stasi’s opinion, at the core of our hearts as women are 3 heart desires that we’ve ignored, buried and cast aside.
- To be romanced: I’m not one of those super-girly, frilly types by any means. But, I was surprised (when I was honest with myself) that I totally agreed with her. What woman doesn’t have the desire to be pursued, desired, seen and appreciated for who she really is. Really, just to feel precious and irreplaceable to someone. I didn’t grow up with a father that was overly affectionate or demonstrative, so i had no idea what it was like to be ‘Daddy’s little girl” or called “princess”, “sweetie” or any of the other million endearing names that father’s call their daughters. But, I was really missed a step when I realized how true this was for me and how much I did want this.
- To have an irreplaceable role in a great adventure: I went to Louisiana on a Mission Trip with my old church about 2 1/2 years ago. Man, talk about adventure. We gutted a home, worked in the BOILING hot sun, helped paint a church and so many other great outreach events. There was a whole team of us, men and women, and we did have different roles and tasks sometimes but we all needed each other to get the job done. I think as a Christian that trip was one of the most gratifying experiences. Everyone had a role, everyone felt irreplaceable and we had to work together for the greater good.
- To have our beauty unveiled: Like I said, I was never a girly-girl but I do remember playing dress-up with my sister and cousins. When we would have big family events. I remember sneaking into my aunt’s bedroom and we would play with her jewelry, make up, shoes, etc. Now I was only 10-11 tops and I’m sure you can imagine how a 10 year old puts make-up on, but I do remember the reaction I got and how I felt. During all the “oohs and aahs” I felt pretty and confident. Like I could have whatever I wanted. Its funny now to think about it.
I’ve been single for a long time now and really until recently I did not have the desire to seriously pursue my future spouse. But, Stasi E. is right about one thing: Stacey L DOES want to feel beautiful in every sense of the word, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Regardless of the world telling us we can stand on our own two feet or we don’t need men to survive, blah, blah, blah. We’re not trying to act like men, so those statements are helpful for us! The true power comes with knowing how we are created and for what purpose. That’s one of our greatest gifts from God.
