Life so far...

Inauguration Day

staceylewis — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:46:13 +0000

Man, I’m behind

staceylewis — Thu, 05 Feb 2009 17:11:42 +0000

The last time I blogged, I had just started my t.v fast. I had a couple of setbacks (hey, it’s my first fast!!) but all in all it went pretty well. I wasn’t perfect all of the time and cheated a few days, but I really feel like God honored my decision. One of the side-effects of the anti-Lyme drugs I have is ear-ringing. There would be some days I’d come home from work and really dread the silence; it just amplifies the ringing and can be very stressful at times. During those days, when I’d sit down to have my quiet time or just read…the ringing just about went away. It was so awesome how he honored my desire to have some time and peace with him. I did feel like I deepened my relationship with Him and even though I didn’t have a breakthrough in an area I was praying about I found that if I listened, He gave me insight on why I choose certain people and put myself in certain situations. Maturity is the goal and the situations I repeatedly find myself in make sense now. I need to learn how to handle these people/circumstances as a mature believer. One who’s graduated from milk and baby food and is eating meat. So, that means I have to stop taking things so personally. Yeah, it may be weird and hurtful when one of your friends ignores you when she thinks you don’ see her. But, what I need to start doing is stop wondering what I did to offend them (nothing) and why is it that they don’t want to talk to me (who cares) and start considering the source and start thinking about that person as an acquaintance (obviously) and stop wasting energy on pursuing this relationship. By no means am I suggesting that I can be rude or disrespectful. No. I don’t get permission to do that. I’m just saying that I have to put this relationship in perspective and leave it there. Wishing them the best, but knowing that’s probably a person that is better off in my life in a superficial way and being ok with that. That’s maturity and it isn’t always fun to get there is it? Hopefully, in a few months, I’ll be able to look back at this blog and recognize that this was the start of that process and be glad for the journey. It’s about time for me! I want to do awesome things for God and know this will be one great obstacle out of the way….finally.

The fast

staceylewis — Thu, 15 Jan 2009 21:12:06 +0000

I’ve been a Christian for about 7 1/2 years now and I’ve never, ever fasted. Last week, a couple of my friends told me they were participating in a fast with their church to kick-off the New Year. I think, “What a great idea.” ” I want to hear from God in a unique way; I want some breakthrough’s in my life…count me in!!” Well, I’ve been on twenty-zillion meds since August, it’s not a good idea for me to do a food fast, but I did decide to give up something that does mean alot to me: the t.v. I asked God to help me specifically in a few areas and giving up the t.v. watching is making me realize how we can hide from God with this form of entertainment. For example, I come home from a long day, grouchy and tired. God wants to deal with me about a certain person or circumstance and I don’t want to hear it ( I mean, helllooo, I’ve only asked Him to help me in this area and I don’t want to listen). What do I do? Turn on the ‘ole t.v. and tune it alllllll out. Well, now that I’m not watching t.v. (and my computer hard-drive failed last week so no internet at home); God has oodles of time to drill my thick head. It’s not always pleasant or comfortable the things He’s showing me, but I’m listening, praying and (hopefully) growing. I’m determined to be a whole new person for Him and in Him this year and I’m willing to go through the darkness so i can see the light instead of vice versa–if that makes sense. I’m just praying that God does all the house-cleaning He wants, but I know I need to do my part and that’s by letting Him. Sometimes that’s very easy and sometimes it sucks. That’s just the truth. So, I’ve got until the 31st and then the fast is over. We’ll see where I end up after that. One day at a time, one day at a time.

You never know who’s reading…

staceylewis — Tue, 06 Jan 2009 20:09:12 +0000

This past Sunday, I was pleasantly surprised to hear from a couple of people at church that they had found my blog! I haven’t been doing this blogging-thing for very long, but I’m glad that what I’m putting out there isn’t just floating out there in cyper-space, that people are really reading it.

Now enjoying what they read may be the subject of another blog ) Lol!

New Year, New Me!

staceylewis — Wed, 31 Dec 2008 16:02:09 +0000

Starting this blog was a big thing for me. I wanted a way to document my life so I could track my spiritual, emotional and physical growth. With a few glitches here and there, I’ve been pretty faithful. I’m not going to get too rigid and beat myself up or give up because I haven’t blogged religiously. So, now that we’re thisclose to 2009, I’ve been thinking about what I want to accomplish in this new year: I want to meet my husband and move forward with my photography biz. More importantly, I’m hoping that I will finally find God’s true calling on my life and pursue that whole-heartedly…without fear and anxiety.

Here’s an encouraging email I received from a life-coach. I hope it lifts you up as much as it did for me:

What I love about the New Year is the thought of beginning again- starting
over. In fact I love the word new and all that it means. I am reminded by
the words of the Apostle Paul in Philippians “Forgetting those things
that are behind and pressing on to what’s ahead.” It occurs to me that
you can’t press on to anything new really if you are still clinging to
the old. You can’t embrace tomorrow if you are holding on to yesterday or
the past.
So what would happen if you just let go of some of your mistakes,
shortcomings or even failures of this past year? What would happen if you
gave yourself a clean slate? Well, why not? For just a moment close your
eyes, take a deep breath and visualize a clean slate. If you could wipe the
slate clean, start over or reinvent yourself who would you be or become? If
you could do something else what would it be? I know it’s hard to do
because our minds can come up with a thousand reasons why it won’t work.
But what if, what if you actually see the New Year as a new slate to
become the person that you have always wanted to be? What if you saw the
New Year as a gift being given to you, a permission slip for you to step
out of your comfort zone and pursue some of the things you’ve always
wanted to experience or even become? Well, why not?

I believe the New Year is a great time to begin again and even reinvent
your life. Give yourself a gift this year, a gift of a NEW YEAR- new goals,
new experiences and new horizons to explore. It really can be a time to
start over, begin again and move towards greater experiences, meaning and
excitement. So, what are you waiting for?

Happy NEW Year!

End of the year??

staceylewis — Tue, 30 Dec 2008 21:33:45 +0000

No way. I can’t be. I didn’t accomplish one half of the goals I set for myself this time last year!! I didn’t meet my husband (is that a goal that we can meet??); I didn’t lose 25lbs; I didn’t pursue my photography as a part-time business and I didn’t brush up my office skills. To my defense, 2008 was an ugly, ugly year for me. Vaginal hysterectomy in June, Hep A infection in August and Lyme’s disease diagnosis in September–health-wise, I got my butt kicked!! But, a couple of very important issues God did help me with:

Fear: Maybe some of you can relate, I used to be one of those people that was afraid/ anxious/worried about everything. My old pastor gave a message once and described people like me as, ” People who would worry why there was nothing to worry about.” When all of this health stuff hit me, I realized how my worry/fear showed me how my lack of faith was making me double-minded. Don’t get me wrong, I know it’s perfectly healthy to be afraid when you have to have repeated blood-tests and still the doctor’s are clueless about the illness, but I went too far. God would bring me through one crisis and another one would rise (like they always do) but I wouldn’t remember all He’d brought me through, I’d go back to my fear/anxiety. Where was my faith?? When I finally realized what I was doing, it was easy to leave it all in the throne room and remember how much my Papa in Heaven is crazy about me–He’s got my back and I learned to trust in Him. Which is exactly why I wen through all of this stuff in the first place, I’m sure )
Cultivating contentment: I’m not perfect all the time, but I’m so much better about depending upon other people, things and circumstances to define my happiness. Happiness is fleeting, contentment is something I can work on daily to lighten my load and my walk with Him.

So, now 2009 is one day away and I’m wondering what He’s going to do for me in this new year. With my mortgage set to rest in July, the economy, housing slump and my health stuff–there’s plenty to worry about. But, i refuse to do it. I give my cares over to God as I think of them and leave it up to Him to work it out for my good. After all, isn’t that what He said he w0uld do?

Taking care of the temple

staceylewis — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 13:48:07 +0000

So, the past few weeks I’ve started working out. Hard. I’m in the gym 5-6 days a week. For those of you starting a workout regime, I’m sure you can appreciate how much easier it was to get OUT of shape that it is to get INTO shape–especially as we get older (happens to the best of us). Anyway, I went to a new lever this past Thursday. One of the trainers gave me a free session and really challenged me to raise my intensity level to get to where I want to be. Sounds great and all, but the problem now is that I’ve been barely able to walk these past 2 days! This is a physical issue, but I think it dawned on my today that it was also a great illustration of how I need to be pushed in my Spiritual life, as well. If left to my own devices, I’m not as regimented about my quiet time, my reflection and can easily sink back into doing things in my own strength (or trying to anyway). God can use certain circumstances to “train” us to seek Him more consistently. My circumstance is my Lyme’s Disease. I’ve been on these meds forever, and as a side effect I have a wicked case of tinnitus (ear-ringing). It’s making me crazy on one hand, but on the other it’s bringing me closer to God as I seek relief. Did I ramble on too much? All I really am trying to say is that He’ll use any circumstance or situation to get you back to where you need to be. I’m working on the physical part, maybe He’s using the Lyme’s to get me to where He wants me Spiritually.

I’m willing to take the journey through faith.

In my lifetime

staceylewis — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 16:34:12 +0000

Americans can be proud. I never, ever thought in my lifetime that America could get over the racial divide that has been such a destructive part of our history and elect an African-American president. This isn’t going to be a post about politics–I wasn’t thrilled with McCain or Obama . McCain I supported because of his pro-life, pro-family stance but there were many holes in his economic, tax and health-care reform plans. But, as the nationwide results came pouring in and it was clear that not only was Obama going to win, he was going to CLOBBER McCain old school style. I think I remember one commentator said there hasn’t been a win/lose margin this wide since Reagan 20+ years ago. That’s when it really hit me that I would live to see the day of a black president. All of the struggles, hardships that we’ve gone through as a people were nullified on Tuesday. And, as a country, we’ve finally got the chance to be united as we never were before. I’m not anObama policy supporter. As a matter of fact, I’m trying to get involved in the pro-life movement here in Montgomery County because of his pro-choice policies he will SOON be implementing as a promise to Planned Parenthood. This will be a fight for Christians and we will not waver or roll-over but today I’m just glad to be a part of history and enjoy this victory for all Americans.

Tomorrow’s another day

staceylewis — Mon, 03 Nov 2008 20:34:29 +0000

Ok, Ok. So it’s been more than one day from my last blog on the Lectio Divina. It’s hard to remember that I started this blog so I could keep an acurate record of my spiritual growth and just to record this time in my life–so I need to stop being lazy and distracted by other things.

It’s been a great few weeks. I’ve got a really nice roommate! She’s moved to MD from Florida and is working at a local college. She cooks and cleans; its great to come home and there’s food on the stove waiting. Praise the Lord, I’ll be able to pay up these doctor bills soon. Oh, and on that note. It has been one thing or another with my meds. I was taking Plaquenil, Amoxicillin and Biaxin. I had to go off of the Amoxicillin because I broke out into HIVES! My whole body turned itchy and (I hope this isn’t too much info) I lifted up my shirt to see why I was so itchy and my eyes popped out of my head! They were everywhere!! So, the penicillin had to go. THEN I thought I was having a reaction to the Plaquenil because I was still having hives so I stopped that. But, what was weird was I only having problems at night after my second dose. I think the problem was solved by my changing laundry detergent. I’m hypersensitive to certain things and don’t want to break out again.

As everyone is gearing up for the election tomorrow, one thing that is on my heart is to pray that whoever God elects as President, they will lead this country back to being wholeness again. My Pastor gave a message about God getting our attention through the calamities in our lives. To any Christan, it’s no secret why the US is having as many problems with the economy. God is trying to get our attention. To tell us to wake up, repent and seek Him. The church/Christians need to be praying for this country and for our leadership. But, whoever is in the White House will, ultimately, not determine our fate. It’ll be God and Christians can lead the charge back to righteousness. Just because our leaders aren’t believer’s doesn’t mean that God can’t still bless our land! If we who are called to Him get on our faces and seek to further the Kingdom more than we seek to further our own comfortable lives. We can be the change we want to see happen, regardless if Obama or McCain is elected. We have the power to change the course of this country. For me, I’m going to be praying and asking God for His guidance to further Him everyday.

That’s the best way to start.

Learning about the Lectio Divina (Divine or Sarcred Reading)

staceylewis — Sun, 26 Oct 2008 20:01:01 +0000

This past Saturday I took a class offered at Cedarbrook Community titled, “Making Space for God.” For someone like me that struggles with having a consistent quiet time, it was a blessing. I talk to God all day, but I am really trying to be more obedient to read my bible. I think I may read other topical books on Christianity than I actually do my bible…the blueprint of Christianity! Go figure.

Anyway, I was anxious to absorb as much as I could from this session. A little background on the Lectio Divina. It’s a form of prayer that was practiced at one time by all Christians. It is a slow, contemplative way of praying the Scriptures which enables the Bible to become a means of union with God. It sets us up to listen (which we have a hard time doing as 21st century Western Christians) for the word of God spoken to us in the present moment. The following notes were included in my handbook:

There are 5 movements to lectio divina practice:

Read: What does God want to show me today?

The type of reading called for here is SLOW, quiet and deep. The goal is to become totally absorbed by the words of God.
We usually read the Bible so we will know more about God, lectio is so we will hear more FROM God. Bonus!
Read the passage several times at least (and a passage should not be more than 6-8 verses). Read it aloud and softly, if appropriate. Be attentive to the weight, color, and feel of the words and phrases.

2. Reflect: How is my life touched by this word? Why is this relevant to me?

Read the passage again. If reading can be compared to tasting food, reflection is like chewing.
As you read the passage (mine was John 15:1-5), you will notice that certain words or phrases will stand out to you (again, mine was John 15: 5: I am the vine, you are the branch…) It will feel weightier than the other verses…your eye/mind will be drawn back to it continually.
We let all the other words/phrases fall aside and we focus on that one word or phrase that became primary.
Chew on that word/phrase. Look at it from different angles, Pay attention (and journal) to the feelings that or thoughts that this word invokes in you.

3. Response: Is there an invitation (or challenge) for me to respond to?

Read the passage again. Your response is a conversation. “God why am I feeling this way when I read this, why did you give me this word today, etc”
In this whole process we are realizing that God has brought this word and feeling to the surface. Why? That’s always to be our question to Him for deeper knowledge.
Listen carefully to God’s response after you have asked him why. Don’t be afraid of silence. You are communing with the Creator of the Universe. Don’t rush it, take time and savor the word.
Be gentle with yourself, give prayer enough time to develop. Be patient and listen for God. He’ll show up!! He always does; tell God what is on your heart.

4. Rest: resting and waiting in God’s presence.

The first 3 movements of lectio divina are not difficult because we read, think and pray everyday. These are activities we are used to.
Rest on the other hand, is inactivity. This movement from response to rest is mostly an act of clearing our mind and letting go.
During this step, we quiet our minds and our bodies for one purpose: to rest in God’s love. We quietly center our attention and desire on God and leave it there.
This is easier said than done. Give yourself some time and don’t be hard on yourself. My mind tends to wander and drift. This move requires practice and discipline.
Don’t forget. God loves us. His love for us in unconditional and unending. Sit at his feet and prepare yourself to listen FROM him–this is what the resting is all about.

5. Resolve: taking the Word with us and living it in my life.

As we emerge from this place of personal encounter with God to life in the company of others, resolve to carry this word with you and live it out in context of daily life/activity.
As you reflect on this word throughout the day, you will find that it begins to live in you and that you begin to live out this word to the world around you.

Tomorrow the Ignatian Approach to reading Scripture